Luv is a three legged word

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one week ago today my husband and I said goodbye to our heart dog, Bosco.   I don’t really know what to say…

I’m incredibly grateful for the support of this community.  This was one of the hardest things I have gone through and this community has given me strength.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Bosco developed diarrhea that lasted over a month on and off.  Also he wasn’t eating much.  He looked as if he was having difficulty chewing and he bit his lip.  It bleed.  He lost muscle so quickly.  His face was sunken in and it happened overnight.  Despite all of this he was so bright eyed.  My husband is struggling and wonders if we waited too long to say good bye.  I wonder if we did it too soon.

We had a hospice vet come to the house.  She was so kind.  She waited until we were ready.  I read part of Jerry’s comment from my last post to Bosco so he would know Jerry (the dog) would be there to show him arround.  I told Bosco he didn’t need to be afraid of other dogs anymore either.  He can trust them now.  He’s had a hard time around other dogs for a long time.  My husband read some memories of our time together.  Then I read a poem.  It was just right.  Perfect for my heart.  (I told him that he wasn’t just my heart dog but that he is my whole heart.  And he sure is.).  My husband showed Bosco a few things that he liked like his life jacket, a tennis ball, and a milk bone.  Bosco has always surprised us and that day was no different.  He had only been eating soft foods broken up in small pieces.  But, he wanted the milk bone.  He actually ate the whole thing!  He made us laugh, on that terrible day.

 

When Dr. Alie gave him the first injection Bosco didn’t react to it.  He just keep looking at my husband and I.  It was a gentle process.  We were at home.  He was on his thick orthopedic bed and on the back porch which was one of his favorite spots.  He left this world calmly and surrounded by so much love.

 

After, we stayed with him for several hours.  That might sound strange, but when my parents put our last family dog to sleep she was gone so quickly.  It felt too abrupt.  So we kept Bosco with us.  We cleaned him up, washing the ink off his paws.  His sweet snowy muzzle was stained orange from baby food.  I couldn’t scrub his face while he was alive.  Also we cleaned his poor raw bottom.  My husband and I both felt like it was the right thing to do for him.

 

we brought him inside and put him on his bed.  We sat by him, petted him, and just cried.  I clipped some of his fur.  That always feels wrong to me somehow.  As if I am taking something from him.  So, I cut a lock of my hair and tucked it under his leg.  Don’t ask me why, but It made me feel better.

Then, a very nice man from a local crematorium came to pick him up.  My husband and I both kissed Bosco and said our last goodbyes.  As he drove away with my boy, my heart broke again.  It was the last time I saw my precious Bosco.

 

We went for for a walk around the neighborhood.  Being in the house is so strange and quite now.  My husband told Bosco before he passed that we were going for a walk and that he could come.  I swear for a moment, I felt him with us.

We went hiking the next day on a trail that we would take Bosco on in the smokies.  My husband did something….ridiculous.  It’s silly and kind of embarrassing so I don’t want to say what exactly, but Bosco would have liked it.  I collected some river rocks and acorns.  Bosco loved to chase the squirrels.

Later that day we were able to pick up his remains.  We are so grateful that he didn’t have to stay at the crematorium over the weekend.  The place we picked him up at was a nice house (home /office) by a lake.  It was comforting to think that Bosco was by water, he loved it so much.

Everything feels hollow right now.  But, we are trying to cope.  I made a memorial candle/ jar for him.  I put the river rocks and acorns in it along with some sea shells from our trip to Charleston.  I have lit the candle every night since he passed.  Also we’re planting a tree for him on Sunday.

 

Its been a long journey.  Our lives have been so wrapped up in Bosco’s care that I’m not quite sure what to do with myself when I’m not at work.

 

I miss Bosco, my heart.

This is the candle I made.

The Poem…….

Loved You Best
Copyright © Jim Willis 2002, All Rights Reserved

So this is where we part, My Friend,
and you’ll run on, around the bend,
gone from sight, but not from mind,
new pleasures there you’ll surely find.

I will go on, I’ll find the strength,
life measures quality, not its length.
One long embrace before you leave,
share one last look, before I grieve.

There are others, that much is true,
but they be they, and they aren’t you.
And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought,
will remember well all you’ve taught.

Your place I’ll hold, you will be missed,
the fur I stroked, the nose I kissed.
And as you journey to your final rest,
take with you this…I loved you best.

 

I’m so glad we had some professional pictures taken of him.  This was last December.  He worked so hard that day.

I set out some of his favorite things and some pictures before he passed.  His float coat was hanging off the back porch.  The place I always put it to dry after swimming.

Below is Bosco eating his Birthday cake the day before he passed.  We froze it because he couldn’t eat it on his actual Birthday.  He snatched the  whole thing!  We had to fish it out of his mouth and cut it up.  There were many things he could no longer do during his final days but he could still make us laugh.

 


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13 thoughts on “Luv is a three legged word”

  1. I k ow this was so ja4d to write through your tears. It was also hard for me to read through my tears.

    I have to tell you though, the whole time I’m reading this, I am so touched by the ost beautiful send-off a dog could have.

    The way you spent thst special time together was such an exquisite way to celebrate Bosco back home. The way you shared memories with Bosco and the way uour husband showed him all of his favorite things he loved….perfect, absolutely perfect!

    And you can bet that, as he got closer and closer to the Bridge, he saw Jerry standing there with a basket of tennis balls jist for him! First thing Bosco did though, was take a swim in the cool and clear pristine waters and then rolled all around in the grasses to dry off.

    You know, Bosco’s gift to all of us here is about courage and determination and love and hope. But the way the three of you, your husband, Bosco and you, spent your time together as he prepared for his transition was beautiful beyond words. You truly made thst time absolutely magical for him. It was one of the most enlightened and loving send-offs I have seen here. Part of Bosco’s legacy will certainly be how he lived, but it will also be how his crossover was handled with such loving grace by his humans.

    You have paid homage to Bosco here today in a way that has made him so proud. Thank you for sharing this special time with us. And jist as importantly, thank you for sharing this so much of Bosco with us. We fell in love with him from day one. Your Soul deep bond was so evident to us all. Your care was exquisite. And yes, when you love thos ja4d, your grief will be devastating for quite awhile. But the thousands of happy times you shsred…including eating Milk Bones…will soon pish to the forefront and help your heart heal 💖

    I have some Milk Bones that I’m going to give to my dogs tonight as a”toast” to this very special Soul named Bosco.

    Thank you again for allowing is to be on this journey with you and Bosco and for celebrating his beautiful life.

    Love and light,
    Sally and My Chunky Spiritual Being Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too

    1. Sally, I am sobbing. Thank you for your incredibly kind words. Your words bring me comfort and thank so very much for that special toast!

      Bosco gave us all that he had to give and we certainly wanted to give him the same. I would say that he will be in my heart but, he is my heart. He will be with me forever.

    1. ❤️❤️❤️❤️Thank you. I hope that by sharing all of this, someone will be helped a little. Thank you for your on going support. I wouldn’t have survived this experience without everyone in this community.

  2. Just want to add (through my tears yet again), the photo of Bosco last year, and the one of him trying to snatch his birtjday cake in one gulp…yes indeedy, smile making memories!

    Again, you made one of the roughest days in the world for you, one of the most beautiful and peaceful and joyful for Bosco.💖

    1. I keep reminding myself that this hurts so badly because life with Bosco was so good. Sally, you are so kind and I am so grateful to read your sunny comments. ❤️❤️❤️

  3. With tears streaming down my face, I am sending you many, many hugs and condolences. I’m so sorry.

    Bosco’s farewell day was difficult and heart-wrenching for you and your husband (and oh my gosh I was crying my eyes out just reading about it), but you did right by him!

    Despite your grief, you stayed strong and honored your one-of-a-kind heart dog in a way that every dog, every pet, deserves. He left his broken body in an honorable, loving and beautiful way. And no, it wasn’t weird by staying with him for so long. In places like Japan, pet parents like Quinta’s even have loving wakes for their beloved animals. We may do the same some day if our circumstances allow it.

    Bosco was indeed a wonder dog when he walked this earth, and he will continue to be a wonder dog in the heavens. I have no doubt that you felt him on that walk, and in time he will appear in your life in many mysterious, loving and adorable ways. Watch for those signs, I know he will send them to you.

    Thank you so very much for your honesty and courage in documenting his journey. You have and will continue to help many, many Tripawds families on their own journeys.

    Bosco’s life and love lives on forever in the Tripawds Nation.

    1. Jim, thank you for creating this community. Without tripawd nation things would have been much harder for all three of us. I’m so grateful for the support of this community and for your personal support.

      I do find some comfort in the way we helped him transition to the next world. I hope that by sharing our experience I may have given someone else an idea or helped in some small way. Osteosarcoma is a long painful journey but there is joy and hope along the way. Tripawds nation gave me hope. Thank you for that.

      I hope we did right by Bosco. I wonder what he would say. I hope he feels that way but I wonder if he might feel betrayed. I never wanted to need to make that decision. I wanted him to pass naturally.

      I love the idea of having a wake for a pet. We kind of had our own private wake after he passed. But, before he passed some of our current and previous neighbors came by to pet him, say good bye, and chat with us. He touched a lot of lives.

      There is a wonderful book called Merel’s Door. Ted Kerasote, who wrote the book had a funeral for Merel. It’s a beautiful story filled with interesting scientific tide bits. He really influenced the way I think about caring for a dog.

      I will watch for signs from Bosco. Hopefully, he is romping arround with Jerry right now and free from any fear he felt. He never did well with other dogs.

      I sincerely hope that in some small way our story has helped someone else. Others here have helped me more than I can hope to give back.

      Jim, thank you for this very special place.

  4. I will keep Meril’s Door in mind. FWIW, there’s another book, “The Art of Racing in The Rain” that all dog owners should read, and it is especially poignant to us TriPawd pawrents. I won’t spoil the book, but it’s a book about Enzo and his family, and in the beginning of the book, Enzo is dying. Rewind to his adoption, and Enzo tells his life story in the first dog voice. I had to read the ending twice, but it is incredibly uplifting, and I highly recommend it.

    1. That book sounds so familiar and it sounds good. I will add it to my reading list. Thanks for the suggestion! I’m struggling to focus right now, but normally I read every night. Pukka’s promis: the quest for longer lived dogs is what I’m reading currently. Pukka is the dog ted kerasote adopted after Merel. He weaves pup stories and research on canine longevity. I think he is covering things like dog food, carcinogens (tennis balls and others), and vaccines which is becoming a hot topic. Should be a good read.

  5. Pingback: In Honor of Bosco
  6. I had to go and come back to post. Your tribute to Bosco is just amazing. You have done your baby so much justice and celebrated him with dignity and love. Bosco was very lucky to have you both.
    Your candle is beautiful. The way you honored him and helped him cross over is honestly breathtaking. Thank you for sharing your story. The time you took to tell the story with so much love and clarity enabled me to envision it like we were there with you.
    I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain that you are going through right now. I know there are no words to describe it.
    Your family has touched many hearts in here, and Bosco’s story will live on here and help many.
    I just started a book, with Bo in tow I have been reading about puppies and I just kind of blundered into this accidentally. It is one of those books that as soon as you start reading you are hooked. It is called The Art of Raising a Puppy, and it is written by the New Skete Monks, who live in upstate New York. I am only a couple of chapters in, but it is a fantastic read so far with a brilliant perspective on raising dogs. They breed and raise German Shepherd dogs.
    My heart is with you, sending huge hugs and lots of love.
    Jackie

    1. Jackie, thank you for your kindness. We certainly wanted to do right by Bosco and we made it all up as we went along.

      I do hope that our story helps someone else. That would mean a great deal to me.

      Also thank you for the book recommendation. I’m always looking for things to read and the author is intriguing! Thanks!

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