Is it time?

Bosco has really declined in the last week.  My poor boy is barely eating.  He is drinking enough though.  He is bright eyed and alert.  But, his face is sunken in due to muscle loss.

 

We met with a hospice vet yesterday.  She came to the house and assessed Bosco.  She felt that his quality of life is significantly diminished.  It is.  We used to take him out in the stroller, go swimming, and make him yummy treats.  The best we can do now is walk him in a garden cart because he can’t sit up.

 

But is is it really time.  The vet felt he wasn’t suffering but is on the verge.  Does that mean it’s time?  I can’t quite wrap my mind around this.  I had hopped to let him have a natural death.  Yet I really don’t want him to suffer and I want to be with him when he passes. Are we giving up on him?  It feels that way a little.  Is it really an act of love???  I hope so.

 

my husband and I have the day off tomorrow and Thursday.  We are spending tomorrow with him.  We will love on him and spoil him as much as we can.  Then, on Thursday the hospice vet is coming.  She is wonderful.  She has agreed to let us keep Bosco’s body with us for a few hours after.  When my parents dog and the one I grew up with passed, her body was taken almost immediately.  It felt so abrupt.  We will have, In a way, our own wake.  That feels more comfortable to me.

 

we need to find a poem to read on the day.  Any suggestions?  I just can’t think straight or concentrate right now.

 

We we are thinking cremation.  It’s not my first choice but we may move one day so burying him may not be the right choice.  They remains can be mailed or given to a vet.  Wow, I can’t imagine mailing him.  So our holistic vet has graciously agreed to accept his remains.  This feels unreal.  What I’m writing now, what we’re living.  How is this possible.  It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

 

 

10 thoughts on “Is it time?”

  1. I’m sorry to hear that Bosco is so close to the rainbow bridge, and I’ve recently felt much of the pain you’re experiencing. Just a few thoughts from my experience.

    It’s great that you can prepare, and have a going away party of sorts. When we sent Jake to the bridge, the vet tech pointed out better a week too early than a day too late. That said, I wish we had waited a day and planned a goodbye to include a long car ride, one of Jake’s great pleasures in his last months.

    I’m often crushed that we left our first family dog, Dexter, in a grave 100 miles away when we moved. Our next dog, Sadie, is buried in the yard here, but I think my brother-in-law has the best plan . . . he adopts rescues with health problems and has lost a few dogs over the years. He has the dogs cremated and has an arrangement with his wife that when the last of them passes, all the cremains will be accumulated and the family will be cremated together, one last time.

    It sounds like Bosco, bright eyed and alert, still looks to you for comfort. When it is his time, he will look to you again. I am so glad we stayed with Jake, comforting him and telling him what a good dog he was as he went to the bridge.

    With that thought, I have some tears to go dry. Wishing you peace and strength over the next few days, and beyond.

    1. Thank you for you kind words of comfort. I appreciate your willingness to share your experiences. It helps to know what worked for you and what you might change. I love your brothers idea and I think i’ll mention it to my husband. We are planning to do an individual cremation and I belive a wooden box with a plaque is included. We have the option of them mailing him or hand delivering to a vet. Our holistic vet has agree to accept his remains for us.

      Thank you to everyone who posted poems. I’ll be reading them soon. But for now I need to take a break. I have no attention or focus today. We are crushed.

  2. And here is a poem Michelle posted for us. I think Belle must jave had a paw in writing it

    My dear human,

    I see that you are crying, for it is my moment to leave. Don’t cry, please. I want to explain some things to you.
    You’re sad because I left, but I’m glad I met you.
    How many dogs like me die daily without meeting someone special like you?

    I know it saddens you my departure, but I had to go now.
    I want to ask you not to blame yourself for anything. I heard you sobbing that you should have done something else for me. Don’t say that, you’ve done a lot for me! Without you I would have known nothing of the beauty I carry with me today.
    You must know that we animals live the present intensely and we are very wise: we enjoy every little thing every day, and forget the bad past quickly. Our lives begin when we know love, the same love you gave me, my angel without wings and two legs.
    Know that even if you find an animal that is seriously injured, and that you only have a little bit of time in this world, you provide a huge service by accompanying you in your final transition.

    None of us likes to be alone, except when we realize it’s time to leave.

    Maybe for you it’s not so important that one of you is next to us caressing us and holding our paw, helps us go in peace.
    No more crying, please. I’ll be happy. I have in memory the name you gave me, the warmth of your house that in this time became mine. I take the sound of your voice talking to me, even though I don’t always understand what you were saying to me.
    I carry in my heart every caress you gave me.

    Everything you did was very valuable to me and I thank you endlessly, I don’t know how to tell you, because I don’t speak your language, but surely in my eyes you could see my gratitude.

    I’m just gonna ask for two favors. Wash your face and start smiling.

    Remember how good we live together these moments, remember the antics I made to cheer you up.
    Relive like me all the good we share in this time.
    And do not say you will not adopt another animal, because you have suffered a lot from my departure. Without you I would not live the beauties I lived.

    Please don’t do this! There are many like me waiting for someone like you.

    Give them what you gave me, please, they need it just like I needed you.

    Don’t keep the love you have to give, for fear of suffering.
    Follow my advice, cherish the good you share with each of us, recognizing that you are an angel to us animals, and that without people like you our life would be harder than sometimes it is.
    Follow your noble task, now it’s up to me to be your angel.
    I will accompany you in your path and help you help others like me.

    I will talk to other animals who are here with me, I will tell you everything you have done for me and I will point and say proudly: “that’s my family”.

    Tonight, when you look at the sky and see a blinking star I want you to know that it’s me flashing an eye; warning you that I arrived well and telling you “thank you for the love you gave me”.
    I say goodbye now not saying ” goodbye “, but ” see you later “.
    There is a special sky for people like you, the sky where we go and life reward us by making us meet there.
    I’ll be waiting for you!”

  3. Your love and devotion for Belle touched our hearts from day one. You have given her a life every dog dreams of💓 And you have left no stone unturned in doing everything possible for her! Belle has beaten the odds because of your care AND she got to celebrate her thirteenth viethday!! HUGE milestone for any dog, but especially a tripawd!!

    And now you are going to gift her the most selfless gift of all…the gift of release from an earthly body that NO longer serves her. She knows you love her enough to do that for her.

    As hard as ot is, you have done a remarkable job of making preparations for her release. Now you are free ro be with her in the NOW. She is still with you. Do not easte one second FOCUSING on anything else other than the joy of spoiling her and loving her. And when the moms t of release does come, she will see your smile and hear you tell her what a food girl she is. You will celebrate her home surrounding jer with your locing smile and thanking her for being the best dog ever.

    As Belle arrives at the Bridge, she will feel younger and younger and healthy and fit. Her welcoming committee will show her where the lake is and she will jump in with tail wagging and she swims after sticks and balls the Angels throw for Her. She will have a great feast adterwards and eat ice cream for dessert! Then she’ll sit down arpund a campfire and tell all the dogs and cats avout the best time she had with you and how no dog could possibly jace been loved more.

    We will all be holding you in our hearts over the upcoming days.

    With love
    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too

  4. I am so sorry, this is a really hard time. I’ll tell you a story, you can laugh, roll your eyes, but here’s my take.
    Doing animal rescue and animal control, working at shelters and an animal hospital i have had several beautiful furbabies in my life. Some were for years, some were for a brief time and although some were incredibly special my heart had room for them all.
    I’m not a fan of mass cremation. If you choose to cremate and not have ashes returned that’s what they do. It’s not a horrible thing, just not my thing.
    I had every furbaby cremated and i have all of their tiny ashes in a special place.
    All of them, including my heart dog and my heart kitty will come with me when it’s my time to go see them. I will be cremated as well and when that happens we will all be one. I personally never wanted to be layed in the cold ground so for me it works.
    I hope that’s not too graphic or gross or depressing. It’s just another option. My babies are in my heart, always will be.
    You’ll do the right thing at the right time. I waited too long once and it it wasn’t on purpose, it was out of love, but i couldn’t see that at the time.
    Sorry, very personal. I just want you to know that you’re not alone. This is never ever an easy decision to make. My heart is with you.
    Hugs,
    Jackie and Huck ❤️ and

  5. My heart aches for you. I wish I could make it so that this day would never come. It’s the hardest one that we as pet parents ever face.

    I hope that you and Bosco are having a beautiful day together, and that all the things you ever wanted to tell him are being whispered in his ear as I write this. Will you tell him one more thing for us? Please tel him how much we love him, how he inspired us, and how his story will always be here to help others in their own journey. And one more thing: our Jerry will most certainly we waiting at the Bridge to show him around.

    Whatever you come up with for his service will no doubt be beautiful. Speak from the heart and the most perfect poem will emerge. He will love you a thousand times more for it.

    Know that we are keeping you all in our hearts and thoughts. Many, many hugs are coming your way.

  6. Jist letting you know we are all holding you in our heart.

    I know Bosco has settled in at the Bridge now and is feeling like a you g puppy again.

    And I owe Bosco s huge apology for calling HIM a “she” AND, for calling HIM Belle!! I know I am the world’s worse typist, but I can’t blame that on a typo. I know I was typing through my tears, but still, no excuse! So my apologies again to Sweet Man Bosco!

    I know you are still gutted. I also know Bosco is sooop grateful for the life he had with you. When you can and at yoir own pace, please share more of your special momemts.
    together. Of course, eveey moment together was special for both of you. And we are so glad to have gotten to know Bosco…sich a special Soul.

    Love and light
    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too

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