A little over a year ago we lost Bosco. The grief is with me every day and getting used to our new normal has been hard. I feel badly that I have not been around because I want to support others who are going through similar journeys. I am not really ready to be here. There are a lot of things I’m not ready for.
when Bosco was first diagnosed I didn’t know what to expect, but I did know him. I knew he could learn anything he needed to know and I knew I could help him. I knew the wasn’t afraid of the vet and I knew that he knew I would always come get him.
About a month after Bosco died we decided to foster. It was something that I had wanted to do for years but never could because Bosco had issues with other dogs. I couldn’t stand how quiet the house was and fostering seemed like a good idea because we weren’t ready for another dog.
we ended up fostering what we think is a lab/ beagle mix. She was quiet. Very quiet. She was terrified, abused, still lactating, and suffering from extreme separation anxiety. Somehow she managed to destroy our kitchen from inside her crate while my husband and I were at work. She even chewed up Bosco’s rubber dish mat. She made me cry a few times. But, my husband and I understood and we worked with her. We worked hard. No one wanted to adopt her, so about a month ago we did.
Athena has come a long way! She is able to be in the house without being crated. She has learned some basic commands and a few tricks. I think she trusts us . Things are just starting to get good and were finally bonding.
she is a sweet and gentle dog. She deserves to know what it feels like to be loved and to be safe.
I wanted to believe the growth on her lip was a bug bite. She loves to walk in our plants looking of bunnies. It didn’t go away and so we took her to the vet. I wanted to believe it was nothing, that it would go away. But deep down I think I knew it could be something worse. I’m not ready to go through this again. It could be just a wart but I have a feeling it’s cancer. Her breath has gotten especially bad and that is a symptom. We will know more after surgery this Thursday. I am so worried for her and I am incredibly angry with myself for waiting to take her to the vet. Melanoma moves fast. If that is what it is and if she could be treated, she may need part of her jaw amputated. Athena is already terrified of the vet. How can we do that? And we have spent so much on Bosco, how can we afford this? I am a wreck. I’m not ready to do this again.
